maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sext me about skeletons
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
