where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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