Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I know her cup size but not her name....
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
