Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
