Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
