good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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