mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
