I'm eating all of the evidence.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
