you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
