garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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