I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
