margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
