how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
