Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
