You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
