in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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