Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
