What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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