You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
