I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
