I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
