I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
my liver is dry heaving
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
