I wish i was in the wii world.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
