There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
do herpes really smell.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
