Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
