Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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