Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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