ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
