never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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