you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
