Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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