Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
