Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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