before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
