can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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