i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize