He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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