Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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