By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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