so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
