i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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