I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I'm really busy with my period
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