She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
