So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
