You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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