the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He better not be in your backpack
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
