After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
