I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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