Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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