i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
