your thong is hanging out like whoa
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize