he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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