I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
