when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
