kristin has been a bad kristin
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize