I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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