He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize