Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize