Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
