she peed on how many people?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
