Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
